[x]
All Deviations
All Deviations


When I was Six I Told a Boy in Daycare That I Liked Him and He Said He Liked Me Even if I had Cooties. We Sat in the Sand-box and Held Hands. I Still Liked Him the Next Day, Even Though He Forgot.


If I could, I'd dig a gaping
hole in the earth
   all
      the
         way
            down
                to
                  the
      MOHO- (we learned
what that was from a book we looked at;
because libraries
were never built to keep secrets)
                                                      I'd stick
                                               a flag in it and claim
                                  THE and everything inside of it ENTIRE                                             M    A    N    T    L    E
                    Then, if I bury it back down
                      I could take everything
                      that lies above, too, and no one would ever
                      know the difference.
I'd make you
emperor,
and we would rule the world
                                        (except for the core because we would never
                                            be able to visit it, unless,
                                            we had magic
                                            hats, but
                                            they might take a while to find).

                                 I started digging today after
                                 my mommy dropped me off
but I only got to the bottom of the sand-box.

For now, I'll build you a
castle, and we'll have to p
                                 r
                                 e
                                 t
                                 e
                                 n
                                 d.
I'll even write you out a   and slip it in the crevice
                               IOU
                      under your door.

________________________________________ ____

Now the original:

If I could, I'd dig a
hole in the earth
all the way down
to the MOHO-
(we learned
what that was from your brother's
book).

I'd stick
a flag in it and claim
the entire mantle
and everything inside of it  

I'd make you
emperor,
and we would rule the world
(except for the core because we would never
be able to visit).

I started digging today
but I only got to the bottom of the sand-box.

For now, I'll build you a
castle, and we'll have to pretend.
I'll even write out an IOU
so you can collect when we've grown up.
©2007-2008 ~Tmunky
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Submitted: July 12, 2007
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Author's Comments

Thanks to ChillinVillian for the alternate title. Full title is that first bit.

I put the original of the poem in at the bottom. It took many, many drafts before finally becoming the finished product at the top.
[x]

Devious Comments

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~Herny:iconHerny: Jul 13, 2007, 6:31:05 PM
nicely done, I like the structure

--
And So I asked, Is this who you are or who you are supposed to be?
~Tmunky:iconTmunky: Jul 19, 2007, 11:08:42 AM
Thank you. It took quite a while to get it like this.

--
Amelia puts out.
<3
~paper-midget:iconpaper-midget: Dec 3, 2007, 9:57:26 AM
Honestly, I prefer the original...except I like the part about the hats:) I love the concept...
Question: How do you post literature? I tried, but I'm doing something wrong...
~xdarknessdescendingx:iconxdarknessdescendingx: Dec 8, 2007, 2:39:00 PM
This is a joke, right? Please god, tell me this is a joke.
*salshep:iconsalshep: Dec 8, 2007, 7:20:42 PM
No, this is a joke:

Q: How many xdarknessdescendingxings does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: They put holes in your nose and eat your fingers.

--
and all the stars went out

Listen/Read: SOUNDZINE 5
*eldestmuse:iconeldestmuse: Jun 3, 2008, 7:23:39 PM
I read this
and it was good.

mmm.

--
*eldestmuse, formerly ~ladyofx
Contrary to popular opinion, the plural of 'anecdote' is not 'fact.'
Check out lit 'n' law, observations of an author in law school.